Everybody Loves Larry

RETURN?????

2009-09-02T10:20:00.003-05:00

Hellooooo.......Anybody out there??? After a long void, I decided to give this another try. I haven't visited this blog in 3 months. It's been mostly avoidance. I didn't know what to say and I found it difficult to reread the previous postings. I've tried to keep myself busy this summer and concentrate on other things. One biggie is that I had my sister's children for 5 straight weeks. Nothing like having a 5 & 7 year old to take your mind off yourself and worry about important things like swimming lessons, meals, laundry, library activities, and settling sibling squabbles. It was fun to have them but at the same time it was really, really hard. I realized how much I appreciate my alone time. Admittedly, sometimes too much.

Now is the time to focus on other things. And it's the same old record: I NEED A JOB, I NEED A JOB, I NEED A JOB. If anyone out there reads this and needs an experienced, super-achieving, high- performing, outstanding and extremely humble and modest healthcare marketing/sales rep. contact me. Don't make me stand on a corner with a cardboard sign: WIDOWED, UNEMPLOYED, WILL WORK FOR FOOD,GAS, INSURANCE, SANITY AND NOT TO EMBARRASS MY KIDS. Has the message gotten across? I often wish that I had the kind of faith that other people seem to rely on and believe that things happen for a reason and to surrender to the powers of a higher being. I'm working on that.

If you notice, I didn't mention 'Ol Lar until now. I think about him daly and I talk to him nightly( he probably tunes me out-because he can). I know that he's not going to let me down and when the time is right, he will step up to the plate. Until then........pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Ol" Lar's Homecoming

2009-06-25T19:42:00.004-05:00

I brought Ol' Lar home today. Are you all thinking 'WHAT?" Yep, Larry is right now in the living room. Later, we'll share the bedroom together. That hasn't happened in a long time. No, he's not going to be on the nightstand or in the bed; respectfully I'll put him in the armoire.

I finally decided to pick him up from the funeral home today. I had and still have intentions of putting him in a proper urn. I've been waiting on this because I was going to share him with the kids. However, I feel that there is a great deal of ambivalence about this right now. There's no rush and when the time is right, we'll all know it. So for the time being, Ol' Lar's going to be with me and that's ok.

I feel my life and the boys' lives are resuming some sort of normal. They're both back to work and I'm still looking for work. I have been keeping myself busy with insurance calls and home maintenance. The AC had to be fixed to the tune of $600.00 (of course during this heat wave). Come on insurance. My friends and family have been wonderful; calling me, seeing how I'm doing, and just being there. I remind them that the hardest part was before Larry's departure. The nursing homes, the bed sores, the feeding, the doctor's visits; all those things were the worst part. Watching my husband deteriorate before my eyes was horrible. Now I know that he is a kinder more gentler place.

On a cheerier note, I do have something to look forward to. My sister and her children have invited me on their vacation to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic in two weeks. All I want to do is put my feet in the sand and indulge in those pretty tropical beverages. Can't wait!! Hopefully, I'll have some happy pictures to put up later. Until later....pass on the Larry love

Gail

29th. Anniversary

2009-06-15T11:27:00.002-05:00

Hello Everyone:

Yesterday, June 14th. would have been Larry and my 29th. anniversary. The boys, Steve and Chris made sure that it was not forgotten. They were incredibly thoughtful with a card, a bottle of Merlot wine by "Bears Lair", a box of red licorice and a delightful day at Arlington Park to make unsuccessful bets on the ponies. I was anticipating this day for awhile now, and it wasn't as bad as I thought. I had wonderful memories of the past 28 years with even one of those years celebrating at Arlington with Lar. There were other memories of dinners out, week-ends gone and even feeding carrot cake to Larry last year in the hospital. Those are memories that will not be forgotten.

I am trying to get things back into some kind of order. There have been phone calls to make, insurance companies to contact, and friends and family to contact. It is kind of odd having my days free of hospital visits, rehab visits and doctor appointments. A good part of the last 2 years has been spent doing exactly that.

I do miss Larry. I miss the ole'Lar with the noted chuckle, the Lar that always felt he had to do the bills-he did them the old-fashioned way, no computer,and secretly flourished doing them, the Lar that loved to go to the casinos, and the Lar that fell asleep in the chair. That's the Lar I want to remember; and now I have to go do the bills. Until later...pass on the Larry love.

Gail

2009-06-07T20:51:00.003-05:00

So , here I am. I want to thank everyone who came to Larry's wake, funeral, sent cards, called, and just supported my family and myself. The outpouring of friends and family and acquaintances that touched Larry and our family was amazing. I will be forever grateful to all of you. I have been asked if I will continue this blog and the answer is yes. As long as all of you continue to read this and more importantly the writing juices continue to flow, the sooner the healing will start. I know my sister eluded to an idea that I am contemplating. Stay tuned. Until then...pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Obituary

2009-06-02T11:28:00.006-05:00

Northwest Herald - Algonquin Paper

Larry D. Williams
ALGONQUIN - Larry D. Williams, 69, of Algonquin, died Saturday, May 30, 2009, at St. Joseph Hospital in Elgin.

He was born Feb. 19, 1940, in St. Joseph, Mo.

He was a veteran of the U.S. Army.

He had 42 years of local service with K-Mart management. He was a member of Algonquin Lions Club and Algonquin/Lake in the Hills American Legion Post 1231.

He was a very kind man and had a loving spirit.

Survivors include his wife, Gail nee Wisniewski Williams; his children, Lori Ormonde and Martha, Steve and Christopher Williams; his grandchildren, Ryan, Morrigan and Austin; his mother, Laura Williams; a sister, Linda (Bob) Harris; his sister-in-law, MaryEllen (Erv) Conrad and many nieces and nephews.

He was preceded in death by his father, Jack Williams.

The visitation will be from 3 to 8 p.m. Wednesday, June 3, at Willow Funeral Home, 1414 W. Algonquin Road, Algonquin/Lake in the Hills.

The funeral will be at 10 a.m. Thursday, June 4, at the funeral home. Cremation will be private.

Chicago Tribune

Larry Williams

Larry Dean Williams, age 69 of Algonquin; beloved husband of Gail nee Wisniewski; loving father of Lori Ormonde, Martha Williams, Steven and Christopher; beloved son of Laura and the late Jack; fond grandfather of Ryan, Morrigan and Austin; fond brother-in-law of Mary Ellen (Erv) Conrad, fond uncle of John, Kyle, Gina, Stephanie Pinkerton (Alan); David Conrad. Visitation Wednesday, 3 to 8 p.m. at Willow Funeral Home, 1415 W. Algonquin Road, Algonquin/Lake in the Hills, IL (one mile E of Randall Road). Service Thursday at 10 a.m. Cremation private.

The Hardest Post to Write

2009-05-30T06:41:00.006-05:00

It is with the deepest sadness that I have to let you all know that our beloved Larry passed away early this morning. Gail, Steve and Chris were at his bedside.

Larry was the most wonderful husband, father, son, grandfather, brother, brother-in-law, uncle and friend to so many. And speaking for myself, Larry was so much more than just a BIL, he became known as my "Texas husband" because he spent so much time down here. I am having such a hard time imagining my world without Larry in it.

While I am so incredibly sad about this, the knowledge that Larry is no longer in any pain gives me some comfort. Take care everyone and hold your family a little closer to you today.

One of my favorite pictures of Larry and Chris on one of his many trips to Texas

Pass on the Larry love...

Comments From Gail

2009-05-29T09:34:00.004-05:00

Hello Everybody,

I think it's time that you heard from me. I am greatly appreciative to my sister, for her commitment to continue on with the updates on this blog. Most of you who have been reading this blog for awhile will probably agree that she is much better at posting than what I am. I usually talk to her several times a day so I am grateful that she passes on the info.

My feelings on this whole situation right now are mixed. Admittedly, I'm scared. Every time the phone rings, my heart jumps into my throat (thank goodness for caller I.D.). I usually stay at the hospital 4-6 hours a day, and feel extremely guilty when I leave. I just don't want Larry to be alone. Intuitively, I feel he knows when someone is there, even if he is non-responsive. I feel so helpless just watching him and not being able to do anything for him. For someone who likes to always be in control of the situation, I know I have to let it go to The Supreme Control Master.

It also freaks me out a little when the Social Worker calls me and asks if I have made any arrangements ie: funeral home, service, etc. She tells me that I should contact the funeral home to be ready. I haven't yet. It also is disturbing when one of the floor nurses who has never laid eyes on Larry comes into his room and asks me if last rights should be administered and what religious affiliation we are . I told her that I thought she was a little premature and she later apologized. The Hospice nurse has been wonderful; coming in and checking on Larry; filling me
in on Larry's status, and offering any help to me and the boys. And speaking of the boys, I have great concern for them. I hate that they are being faced with this at this time in their lives. We all are dealing with this differently, my friends and family have been a great support to me; I'm sure their friends are there for them also.

I will be going to the hospital shortly and will have updates. Until then.....pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Thursday Update

2009-05-28T07:08:00.005-05:00

Thursday, 6:00 pm Update
Just spoke with Gail, Larry's hospice nurse felt he was having more pain than originally thought, so they increased his dosage of morphine and ativan and are also giving it at more frequent intervals. Gail says Larry is mostly sleeping now, everything else remains unchanged. It's been a quiet day at the hospital, just Gail, Chris and Steve were there today.

Gail came up with a really awesome idea to honor Larry, it's gonna be a lot of fun (Larry would definitely approve of this!). I'm not going to give out the details now, but stayed tuned later for more information.

Thursday, 7:00 am Update
Good Morning. Again, I will be away from my computer most of the day (gotta go to work!) so I will not be able to post updates frequently today. Just keep those prayers and good thoughts coming. Gail and Larry are so incredibly blessed to have such great friends. I know Gail has an appointment this morning that she is trying to go to, so she will not be at the hospital until early afternoon. Steven and Chris will be with Larry this morning.

Wednesday Update

2009-05-27T07:50:00.004-05:00

Wednesday, 5:00 pm Update
Just have a minute before I need to run out the door. Spoke with Gail earlier and Larry is doing okay, the staff is giving him his morphine and ativan every 4 hours which is keeping him pretty sedated. The hospice nurse did tell Gail that Larry's pneumonia is in both of his lungs and is pretty extensive. Gail had originally thought it was just in one lung, but apparently the chest x-ray that was done on Sunday indicated otherwise. Larry again, is pretty much sleeping most of the day. Larry's old caregiver Liz stopped by to visit, what a blessing she has been, first she was an awesome help to Larry awhile back and now she has turned into a good friend of the family. Gail's PDI friend Laurie also came by to visit with Gail and Larry and she brought homemade cookies! What a nice treat. Steve spent the morning and early afternoon with Gail and Larry before he had to go to work. Larry is getting lots of attention and TLC with all these family and friends stopping by, I know Gail is so grateful to you all.

Wednesday, 7:50 am Update
Hi all. I haven't talked with Gail yet, but wanted to let you all know that I will be away from my computer most of the day and most likely will not be able to post updates on Larry. I will try from my blackberry, but am not sure if it will work. Just keep the good thoughts and prayers coming, I know Gail is so appreciative of all this support. Pass on the Larry love...

Tuesday Update

2009-05-26T08:02:00.007-05:00

Tuesday, 8:30 pm Update
Just finished talking with Gail. Larry had a fairly stable day physically. He doesn't appear to be in any pain or significant distress. Their good friends Tom and Jan H. and Gary came down and spent a great deal of time in Larry's room with Gail and Larry, and Chris was there too. They had a great visit, Gail said although Larry still is not talking and is sleeping most of the time, he did recognize his good friends and she really felt he was getting a kick out of all these people coming to visit and Gail's phone ringing constantly with friends and family calling to check on him. Larry has always loved a good party! Gail is doing pretty well, she is mentally exhausted with all of this and was going to bed early and hoping to get a good nights sleep. Tomorrow, Larry's previous caregiver and good friend Liz is coming to visit. I really don't think this man has ever met someone and not made them a life long friend. What an incredible guy; I guess this is why Gail named this blog "Everybody Loves Larry".

Tuesday, 12:45 pm Update
Gail is headed into the hospital to spend the day with Larry, she will call me later when she gets there to give me an update on Larry's condition. Larry's good friends Tom H. and Gary are headed down from Milwaukee to visit with Lar and Gail. Tom and Gary are like "Chicken Soup for the Soul"; great friends who have been with Larry thru the good and the not so good. I know Gail will welcome the diversion. Love these guys!

Tuesday, 8:00 am Update
Haven't spoke with Gail yet this morning, I'm sure I will in a little while. I'll post an update after I speak with her as to how Larry's night went.

Monday Update

2009-05-25T10:05:00.008-05:00

Monday, 8:00 pm Update:
Talked with Gail a little earlier and nothing has really changed. Larry is still fairly stable although Gail felt he was a little warm and they requested some ice packs to put on him. He is mostly sleeping with a few moments of opening his eyes, still is not speaking. Steve and Chris came by to keep Gail and Larry company for a few hours. Gail spoke with some friends of Larry and her and they may come by for a visit tomorrow which would be great.

Monday, 1:15 pm Update:
Just spoke with Gail, she is in Larry's room. Larry seems to be a little more cognisant of Gail's presence. He has opened his eyes some and is responding to her touch although he is still not speaking. Gail is working on a crossword puzzle and asking Larry for the answers, he keeps opening his eyes seeming like he is trying to help her! Oh if only he could! I told her I would make up a K-Mart crossword for her, that would definitely get Lar's attention! He doesn't appear to be in any pain and is not agitated or anything like that. They have cool compresses on his head for the fever. Nothing else has changed.

Monday, 10:00 am Update
Gail has asked that I post updates on Larry as frequently as possible to keep everybody abreast of what is happening. Gail and I talk at least 4 or 5 times a day so I hopefully can post an update as I get them from Gail. It is excruciating to me to not be able to be physically close to Gail and help her and the boys in this extremely difficult time. For those that don't know, I live in Texas.

Yesterday, Sunday, Larry was transferred to the third floor of St. Joseph's Hospital in Elgin, this is the floor that they manage hospice patients on. He tolerated the transfer well although he is still sleeping most of the time and apparently did not wake up even with the transfer. He has been taken off all monitors and medications except for the morphine and the ativan. He still has his PICC line (iv line) in his arm and is receiving those two meds thru it. He has not opened his eyes in several days so it is hard to determine if he is really sleeping or if he is just resting. He has not spoke for several days as well. Gail, Steve and Chris have been keeping an almost constant vigil at his bedside although they all did go home last night to get some much needed sleep. While they are in the room with Larry, they are sharing stories, watching the Cubs and the Blackhawks and trying to be as comforting to Larry as possible. The doctors and nurses have shared that they believe the hearing is the last to go, so we all think Larry can still hear everything around him. For all of you that know Larry like I do, Larry loved hearing funny stories and loved telling them even more.

Gail just spoke with the hospice nurse this morning and got a report from her about how Larry is doing. His vital signs are for the most part stable, although his fever has risen some and was at 101.0 earlier. The nurse indicated he seems slightly more distressed this morning so not to be surprised when Gail gets there. She thinks the distress is related to the fever. Everything else is status quo.

Gail asked that I extend a "thank you" to everyone who is thinking and praying for them at this time. She also asked that you all continue to do so and if anyone has a a "fast track to the Big Guy in heaven" please ask for speediness to this process. Larry has suffered far too long and doesn't need to continue to do so.

That's all of the news I have for now. I will try and update later when I speak with Gail.

Pass on the Larry love....

A turn for the worse

2009-05-24T09:51:00.003-05:00

Hi all, guest blogger here (Gail's sister). Gail wanted me to put a post up on her blog to let everyone know that unfortunately Larry has taken a turn for the worse. As she indicated in her last post, Larry was transferred from Kindred to St. Joseph's on Wednesday with what they originally thought was a fractured hip although that turned out to be not the case. While he was in St. Joseph, he had been running a low grade fever and they did a chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia; well he does indeed have pneumonia. Along with the pneumonia, his blood tests also have indicated a much greater infection somewhere in his body, a CAT scan was ordered to see if they could pinpoint the source of the infection, but they could not. The doctors have put him on large amounts of antibiotics in an effort to kill off the infection, but unfortunately the antibiotics are not working. Last night (Saturday) after spending most of the day in the hospital with Larry, Gail received a phone call to come back to the hospital as Larry's heart rate shot up and was consistently in the 160's (normal is about 70-80) and his breathing was labored. These symptoms are a result of his body trying to fight off the infection. With the antibiotics not working, things are not looking good for Larry.

Gail and the boys spent the night with Larry, comforting him and talking to him. Larry is not able to respond, but we all think he knows that they are there with him. He has made it through the night. After speaking with Larry's doctors, the decision has been made to put Larry on "in-patient" Hospice. They are stopping all medications except for morphine for pain and ativan for restlessness. The hospital has a portion of a floor specifically for hospice patients and Larry is being moved there this morning (Sunday). Gail sent the boys home this morning to get a little rest and a shower, she is still there with Larry and she will probably take a little break later when the boys return.

As of now, no one knows how long this will go on. It's a very sad situation and I have tears just typing this all out. Larry is truly in God's hands now. Please pray for Gail and the family, and Larry as they move thru this last stage. As Gail says, pass on the Larry love....

Larry Update

2009-05-21T16:32:00.003-05:00

I guess that I'm not too good with staying up with the blog. There hasn't been much change in Larry's condition. We did have a bit of concern yesterday when he was transferred back to St. Josephs. His doctor called me in the morning and informed me that he had a hip fracture. I was astonished because Larry has been bed-ridden for the last 9 months. Larry has been complaining of hip pain and after an X-Ray was taken, it showed calcification of the soft tissue in that area. According to the doctor, that was considered a fracture and an orthopedic surgeon had to be brought in. You think that an orthopod could have been brought in to Kindred. Nooooo. Everything had to be packed up and brought to the hospital. When I saw him yesterday at the hospital, nothing had been done and nothing had been determined. Well nobody called until I called this afternoon and inquired about him. Now they tell me that the orthopedic surgeon looked at X-rays of his hip and pelvic area and saw no fracture-that's good but what the heck!! Now they say that he's going to be transferred back to Kindred today after his chest X-ray comes back and hopefully no pneumonia-he has a fever. Honest to goodness, it just keeps piling up.

Earlier this week, I was told that Larry was going to be discharged early next week. Now I don't know anything. I have been looking around at various skilled nursing facilities for him. One of them was just horrible, one was very nice but would only take Medicaid or private pay-I'm not ready to go down that road just yet, and one of them was acceptable. Quite frankly, I don't know what we're going to do right now.

Anyway, i just want to give some shout-outs to several friends and family that have expressed concern for all of us--his K-mart gals(he really enjoyed the picture and note) ,my Lizettes(lunch was great), the GG's (dinner was wonderful), my cousins (Lynn, Mark, Mary Paula, and Janet), of course Tom and Gary (thanks for making the trip down to Sycamore), nephew John(I liked your comment), my sister, Mary Ellen (your calls are always welcome), and my boys (just because)

Well, as always, pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Larry Update

2009-04-22T19:18:00.003-05:00

Hello:

I'm back to the blog myself. Thank you to my sister for posting the last blog and letting everyone know that Larry was back in the hospital. I thought I would wait until today with some updated info. Since Larry has been at St. Joseph's, he has not been allowed to have anything by mouth. This is really unfortunate for Larry because as many of you know, food, especially cookies, is one of the few pleasures Larry has left. This has become too risky because anything he eats or drinks leads to aspiration. Nobody wanted to take that risk especially the hospital. They said I could feed him myself, but I would have to sign a waiver. Can you believe that?? everybody's trying to CYA. So I figured that if they didn't want to feed him, do you think I was going to take that risk? I did try feeding him ice chips and he even choked up on that. So today, a G-tube was inserted. I really struggled with this decision because i didn't know if I was adding to the prolongation of this disease, but this is the only way that he can get nutrition and his meds. I still feel unsettled about this but I certainly wasn't going to stand by and watch him choke or starve to death. Doesn't that sound awful? but that's what it would have been. The insertion of the G-tube is a pretty significant turn in this insidious disease. It means that his swallowing is compromised due to the atrophy of the throat muscles. As the MSA is named (multi system atrophy) you just wonder what is next. If this hasn't been enough for him, the pressure sores continue to exist with one being persistently nasty. He's back on a wound vac and continuous antibiotics. In fact, a pic line was inserted in him last night. I was told today that he would possibly be transferred to Kindred Hospital either tomorrow or Friday. Remember, this was the wound hospital he was at during the bucolic Autumn season. Now he'll be there during the emerging Spring season. Quite frankly, I am exhausted with all of this. More decisions will have to be made and I just pray that I have the guidance of the Lord. Until the next time...pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Guest Blogger Here - Larry's in the Hospital

2009-04-19T13:55:00.004-05:00

Hi Everyone,

Gail asked me to post an update for her; Larry is in the hospital. This past Friday, the nurse who came to the house to check on Larry really felt he needed to go to the hospital to be evaluated for his wounds. Although the main one on his bottom is healing for the most part, part of it is being quite stubborn and is continuing to put out a pretty foul smelling drainage. Given the location of it, it's not surprising. He has also developed additional pressure sores that needed to be looked at related to the fact that Larry is pretty immobile and unable to move and turn on his own. Another thing the nurse noted is that Larry has developed a significant cough and his lung sounds were pretty "junky". The decision was made to call 911 as he can only be transported by ambulance, so apparently the paramedics showed up along with a fire truck with full sirens and lights! I guess it was quite the sight. They transported him to St. Joseph's Hospital in Elgin Illinois and Gail followed in her car. They spent 6 hours in the ER and started Lar on IV antibiotics and did a chest x ray which came out clear, meaning he does not have pneumonia. Whew, that was a big relief. His doctor wants him evaluated by a wound care specialist and also a plastic surgeon to see if they can surgically close the wound on his bottom as it appears that is the only way it is going to heal. Being the weekend, he won't get these evals until tomorrow, Monday. Another big issue Larry is having is swallowing (as if he doesn't have enough problems already!). They are going to do some tests on him to see if there is an obstruction or something anatomical that is causing this, but my gut tells me that this is just a progression of this awful disease, I think his swallowing muscles have just atrophied to an extent that he is unable to swallow without choking - so sad as one of Larry's biggest pleasures these days is eating. A decision will need to be made as to whether or not to put a "G-Tube" in his stomach in which he would get nourishment and his medications administered thru.

Gail is holding up the best she can, she is tired and scared as anyone would be in this situation. Larry is comfortable in his hospital bed although this morning it was reported that he was "agitated", which whoever knows Larry, knows that is not him.

If you all could spare a few prayers for this family, I know it would be greatly appreciated, they have been through so much in the past few years with Larry's declining health. I know Gail and Larry would love to see some comments from their blog readers, so please click on the "comment" button and leave them some words of encouragement. As Gail always signs off: "Pass on the Larry Love"!

I'm Back

2009-03-22T12:25:00.005-05:00

Well, did you all think that I flew the coop, abandoned ship, or just got the hell out?? Don't think that I haven't thought about it. I guess I'd be surprised if any of you continue to read this blog considering my last "pull the band-aid off the wound" entry. Things are difficult and I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I only feel guilty when I see how much more difficult Larry's life is. Because I see him everyday, his condition appears constant. However, his muscle condition continues to deteriorate and he's having more difficulty eating. When I feed him, he has to be reminded to chew and swallow his food if he doesn't nod off first. He is getting more contractures(means that his body is getting more rigid and he can't straighten out his legs). His legs are constantly in a fetal position and it's very painful for him to be turned from one side to the other. In addition to all that, he's getting more pressure sores. Now do you see why I feel guilty when I think of myself.

I contacted another hospice company.They came out and talked to me and observed Larry and were very kind and compassionate. They told me what services they could provide and assured me that Larry's comfort is priority. After thinking about it for a couple of days I had more questions. They said that a skilled nurse would see Larry twice a week and that he would get a bed bath twice a week. With home care that Larry is presently getting a nurse sees him 3 x's a week as does a CNA 3 x's a week. So what would we gain from this hospice? I need to look at more hospices. It's very time consuming and very difficult to recite the same story over and over again. The consensus seems to be that this is what Larry needs. I'm working on it.

I was able to get away for a couple of days earlier this month. I went down to Austin to visit my sister, niece and nephew. It was great to see them and we went to San Antonio to visit Sea World. It's so fun to be around those kids. I was able to do this because the boys stepped in to care for Larry and I am presently quite unemployed. So if anybody out there needs a really skilled, and I'd like to think quite competent sales representative preferably in the healthcare industry or any industry for that matter-I am ready and available. I need a job!! Not only for the economic reasons but to give me something else to do than hover around Larry all day.

Our weather is starting to improve. In fact, Chris is outside now raking up all the muck from winter. After this winter, I don't know if I can continue to live in this cold and snow. I'm tired of shoveling and maneuvering our steep driveway. Who knows?? I have other things on my plate right now. Well I am going to sign off now. I will try and be not so delinquent in my postings. Until then...pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Stuck in the Rut

2009-02-09T19:57:00.002-06:00

Hellooooo

I know I haven't had a new post on here for almost 2 months. I could put down 101 reasons why I haven't posted and I've been thinking about what I was going to say. So here goes. My life sucks!! I figured I can say that because this is my blog albeit for Larry. I'm going to vent and perhaps it will turn out to be therapeutic. What I'm going to say is probably going to expose my vulnerability and display an unattractive side of me.

I'm sick of being a caregiver and ironically I never considered myself as that term. I always thought of myself as a wife and mother and that the bumps in life that occurred were just dealt with to the best of my ability. I feel terribly guilty admitting that I am tired of seeing what my husband has turned into. Yes, I said my life sucks and I know his life sucks even worse. I miss what we had and regret what we will never have. Taking care of Larry has turned into a chore similar to that of caring for a toddler. He has to be fed at every meal, he has to be turned more often than what I do, he has to have his Chuck's pads(flat diapers)changed every day. I have to remind him to swallow his food, not fall asleep while I'm feeding him, what day of the week it is and that I'm his wife and not his girlfriend. I dread getting up in the morning and knowing that it just can't be me to get the day going and getting out. I dread coming home and having to make a meal regardless if I'm hungry or not. When I do get out, and see couples going out to dinner, the movies or even grocery shopping, I feel cheated. I do go to the movies by myself and I do dine by myself (not fine dining of course). I have always been independent, and I don't mind doing some things by myself and maybe it's the independence that has made me angry. We teach our children to grow up and be self-sufficient and therefore as adults we should all be self-sufficient. When someone you love becomes totally dependent on you, it's a very unwanted burden. I'm only 55 and feel like I'm living with my father. I had dreamed of working at my semi-big buck job for several more years and racking up those weeks of vacation. Larry would have been happy being a store greeter at Wal-Mart and joining me on those vacations. Well, the job has been gone for almost 2 years now and I'm trying to maintain part-time jobs with the unemployment rate rising daily. And Larry, well, that Wal-Mart greeter job is only in his hallucinations now.

I could go on more about my sucky life but I won't. Believe me, I am in no way looking for sympathy or pity, and I am quite aware that there are many other people out there with more misfortunes than me. I know that I exposed a somewhat ugly side of me tonight but I am human. I have been dealt this hand right now and as a gambler, I will stay in the game and hope that better cards come up. So until whenever, pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Holiday Pics

2008-12-28T20:14:00.003-06:00

Seasons Greetings

2008-12-18T21:33:00.003-06:00

Seasons Greetings from the most corrupt state in the country or should I say Happy (bleepin'!!!)Holidays. what can you say?? At least I'm not a native of the state.

I'm sure you're all tired of looking at the blog and continueing to see the Thanksgiving post--I am too. I've been saving everything for the Christmas post. I really didn't know how the holidays would be around here this year. I've been pretty ambivalent and didn't even get a tree until today. In fact, I didn't even get it, Steve did. The decorations are even minimal this year. My mind is telling me to shop, decorate and enjoy but my heart just doesn't have the spirit. i'm thinking things will pick up as I just heard from my sister, that she and her 2 children will be coming up for Christmas. It will be good to have 2 young children in the house wth the anticipation of Santa coming. I think it will be good for Larry as well. His condition remains status quo. He fades in and out of lucidity and the hallucinations continue. At times, some of them are rather humurous and we all get a big laugh out of them including Ole'Lar.

About 2 weeks ago, we were all ready to go with Hospice. I have not been real happy with the current home health service and they discontinued physical, occupational and speech therapy. They said Larry wasn't responding. So if he's not respoding, I thought might as well go with Hospice and we'll get more services. the only problem was that Hospice wasn't going to cover the wound vac. Even though Larry's condition is palliative, I feel it is important for him to stay on the wound vac. According to the nurse, his pressure wound is improving. I know his disease state is progressive, but I would like to keep him as comfortable as possible and not have the wound regress and risk more infection. We did hear back from Hospice and they said that they did find a provider for the wound vac. Maybe into the new year, we'll reconsider.

It has been a real joy to receive holiday cards and hear about everybody's family happenings and pictures. I'm surprised you all continue to send us greetings considering that I haven't sent out cards for years. if you did receive one that was probably Larry's doing. Unfortunately, I must have been behind the door when the greeting card gene was passed out. Again, I have to say that the kindness and support that the family and I have received is just overwhelming and i hope that I can reciprocate two-fold when the shoe is on the other foot. Even though it's difficult for Larry to communicate, I know that he along with myself wish all of you a very joyous Christmas and a truly blessed New Year. As always, continue to pass on the Larry love.

Gail

T-H-A-N-K-S-G-I-V-I-N-G

2008-11-25T21:00:00.005-06:00

As the Holiday is upon us; here are some of my reflections:

T-Thoughts-to everyone who has been thinking of us and putting us in their prayers

H-Hallucinations-Larry thinks I'm a 22 year old that he's going to marry (nothing
like being young and cute)

A-Ambien-it is my friend-without it, I would never know what sleep is

N-Nurses-they have been lifesavers and I truly believe it takes a special person
to fill those white shoes

K-Kindness-I have never experienced such overwhelming kindness

S-Steve and Chris-they have been my pillars, my shoulders to weep on, my sons

G-Girlfriends-I have been blessed with the most wonderful girlfriends;GG's
Lizzettes, Wild Widows and all the others that have unquestionably and
voluntarily given me the comfort that nobody but a girlfriend can give

I-Incontinence- we'll all experience it some day and it saves on toilet paper

V-Volunteers-Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

I-Insightful-I have discovered challenges within myself that I would never have
thought I could face, and did it

N-No Spill Cups-Enough said

G-Gratitude-It is what I extend to all of you. This is a Thanksgiving filled
with my never-ending gratitude.

Thank You all...and forever pass on the Larry love

Gail

An FFFFF......N week

2008-10-28T20:28:00.002-05:00

I'm sure that got your attention. It has been an ffff....n week. From friends, food, football-WooHoo, I won the fantasy football picks,to people folding my laundry. If ever there was a doubt of the foibles of human nature it was certainly proved wrong this week. All you friends and family out there are amazing. The friendly visit from Dennie and Pete, Larry was very happy about that and Liz and Cindy coming over and sitting with Larry while folding my laundry, it's as if you've done this before. The food drop-offs have been fabulous-if not fattening. And a special shout-out to the e-mails that I have received from Larry's former workers. He made me read them to him over and over again. And yes, I won the football picks this week. After being a bridesmaid for the past 6 weeks, I was finally able to be the bride.

Larry's progress is kind of at a stalemate right now. I'm concerned about him being bed-ridden for the past 8 weeks and his muscle strength is so weak right now. He does get PT but it's very limited due to the site of the pressure wound. The wound has receded and that is the priority but he can't even move his legs from side to side by himself. A trapeze was just installed on the bed (no jokes please) so he can improve his upper body strength. He can't even get a utensil to his mouth so he has to depend on other people to feed him. He is pretty weak. You know, Larry continues to be optimistic about the improvement of his health ,and if that is what he believes than the fff...n faith in humankind shall persevere. Until then...pass on the Larry love.

Gail

P.S. Check out the side additions to the blog (calendar and map)

Life with Larry...back home

2008-10-22T20:13:00.002-05:00

I'll try and keep this short. Larry's tests from Saturday nite were negative. No UTI, no infection, except a hunch that he has been and may be dehydrated. We're trying to keep him full of water and Powerade, Gatorade, etc. His hallucinations have diminished and now he wants his address book and phone. So look out..you've all been warned. Our lives are certainly different since Larry's been home. In some ways it's not as dificult as I thought it would be, and in other ways I sometimes wonder where the strength comes from to just get through the moment. The boys and I have adjusted our schedules as best can be. The offers of help are greatly appreciated and as my sister always says : "there's a special place in heaven for all you people." So until next time...pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Larry's Home!!!!

2008-10-18T20:09:00.002-05:00

Yes, Larry has finally come home. It was not the homecoming we expected but after 6 months, he is back in his own home. It was quite an ordeal to get him here. He came home Monday evening after being told he would be home by 4:00. The dining room has been transformed into his bedroom. Not the ideal set-up, but right now he is unable to maneuver stairs. It is strange to see your dining room now looking like a hospital room. Larry is still on a wound vac and is strictly bed-bound. Now that he's home it is very unnerving to take a good look at him. This is a man who was robust and never a lightweight. Now he is very much hanging skin and bones. We have been able to manage his care for this past week. After having a family meeting Sunday nite and explaining the reality of things, the boys and I were able to make it through the week. Chris volunteered to go on the PM shift at work making him available most mornings until 2PM. Steve and I were able to pick up the rest of the slack. We have had the home health RN here Wed. and Fri. She checkss and cleans his wound and takes care of his cathater. Physical and Occupational therapy has not started yet. It's great to have these people but they have no set times. So we are still looking for people to plug in the gaps. Right now, I know for sure that I need people sitters for Monday PM, Tuesday PM,Wednesday, Friday and the week-end. Not for the entire days but for a portion of each. I welcome everyone and anyone. I can be reached by my e-mail: gailwilliams614@msn.com. Larry's condition is somewhat erratic right now. As I type, there is a RN here trying to draw blood on him and check his urine (sounds gross, doesn't it?). Since Tuesday, Larry has been having awful hallucinations. He keeps seeing a beautiful, young, thin woman. I tried to tell him that's not an illusion, but it's me, his wife. We try to see the humor in everything. But seriously, these hallucinations can very disconcerting. They're very real to Larry yet he sort of knows that they're not. I thought that the cause of this could possibly be his meds. I spoke with his doctor last nite and she seemed to think it could be a UTI or vey low electolytes. We'll know more tomorrow. So,until the next time...pass on the Larry love.

Gail

2008-10-08T20:21:00.003-05:00

I can't believe that I'm making another post within 3 days, but things change quickly. We just found out that Larry will be discharged this coming Monday, Oct.13. So much for the additional 3 weeks his doctors supposedly said he needed. It all comes down to bureaucy and money. He has used up his allotment of Medicare and supplemental insurance days so all of sudden we have to scramble. Decisions have to be made quickly and you can only hope that you're making the right ones. They will not give Larry a "safe discharge" unless he has 24/7 secured care in place. So remember when I put out the HELP plea? Well, I'm going to need it now. I hope I can count on all of you that offered so readily and graciously. We don't have an exact plan as of yet but by Monday it should be in place. We will be using a home health care team that will be coming in several times a week to take care of Larry's wound and administer the appropriate therapies to him. We also are enlisting the help of a nurse's aid to come in approximately 20hrs. a week to help with Larry's bathing, dressing and feeding. Where we need the help is when the nurse's aid leaves and before myself or one of the boys comes home from work. Right now, our work schedules are not exactly routine. I welcome all that want to step up to the plate and take a swing at Larry's care (can you tell that I've been too involved with the Cubs this season?) I will assure everyone that Larry is improving. He is much more coherent and I attribute that to the antibiotic he has been on to fight the severe infection caused by the pressure wound. It's amazing how that infection, when not controlled(as in the last facility) can just make your whole body and mind run amuck. So in signing off for tonight, I ask that whoever is willing to volunteer to Larry's cause to either post a comment here or send me an e-mail. As always....pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Larry's Improving

2008-10-05T18:00:00.003-05:00

Well, here it is almost 2 weeks since my last post. I'm not getting lazy; I'm just don't want to become one of those bloggers who think what they have to say is so important that everyone can't wait for the next post. And quite honestly my creative juices weren't flowing real well. What makes today any different, I don't know. Especially when I've been hit with a sinus infection, or cold, or something. I feel in quite simple medical terms: "crappy." However, I've laid on the sofa long enough today and feel the need to say I accomplished something.

As this blog does pertain primarily to Larry, here's some good news. He's making progress and is sounding much better. Chris, who remains our most frequent visitor to Larry has even indicated that "Dad is getting better." It's good to hear that coming from Chris as he has appeared to be quite affected by Larry's condition. We've all been affected by Larry's condition and we all handle it differently; good or bad. When I last saw Larry last Wednesday, he said the doctor indicated that he is making remarkable improvement but that he will still have to remain there for another 3 weeks. I just hope Medicare and supplemental insurance is covering all of this. I just don't need any new shocking bills right now. I'm also concerned about the atrophy of Larry's muscles. He has not been out of a hospital bed in about 4 weeks. He is given bedside therapy but it's only limited range of motion. I suppose we need to concentrate on getting this wound thing cleared up first. Do you realize that Larry has been gone for almost 6 months now??? We're all very tired of this and just wish life could be back the way it was several years ago. You know one never seems to realize how good your life can be until it goes down the toilet. I remember my mom saying "if you have your health, you have everything." So that reminds me, I better get that mamogram in this month (and all you other ladies too) as this is National Breast Cancer Month and I am a 6 year survivor. WooHoo!!!!

Anyway, back to Ole' Lar. I will be out to see him tomorrow and we'll probably watch Ellen (his favorite daytime program)together. I hope to catch up with his doctor and wound care team as well. I'm one of those people that has to ask the who, whats, and whys, of his condition and how it is being treated. Remember , I am that control freak. Now if anyone feels the need to get some of that Midwest Autumnal feeling, come out to Sycamore for their annual Pumpkin Festival. It's a wonderful festival especially for the younger set and even us vintage folk enjoy it. I think it may be this upcoming week-end but I'm not sure. You can check on the internet. And while your out there give Ole' Lar a shout. He's much more lucent these days and loves to hear from everyone. Which reminds me, thank you to all who have sent cards and calls to him. He is quite touched by all of that. In fact, leave it to Lar to remind me of all the birthdays at this time and of course how he always sent the cards. So I want to wish his sister Linda a belated happy birthday and his brother-in-law- Tom a belated birthday wish also; and shout-out birthday wishes to Mary Ellen, Steve S., Chris, Chase and anyone else that Larry would normally remember at this time. So until the next time.....pass on the Larry love.

Gail

2008-09-21T17:53:00.002-05:00

Helloooo:

Well, if anyone is following this blog, you've probably noticed that I haven't posted in over a week. Needless to say, it has been an extremely busy week to the point where I had to start taking Omega3 so I could focus better. You're probably wondering if it worked-I'm not sure. A lot of things were going on that required much attention. Fortunately, the boys were picking up some of the slack. Speaking of the boys, Steve has flexed his independent muscle and made the big move to his own place. This is a good thing. He hasn't moved too far so he will be around to continue with the help and I think it's important for him to experience the economics of independent living. However, do you think this week was a good example of sound economics??As has been said by us democrats (yes, now you know)...what were you thinking?? I'm not going to get into that. You all know the expression about religion and politics. Anyway, let me fill you in on the life of Larry (that's what you all wanted to know anyway).

Larry is now in his 9th. facility. He was moved Monday night to the LTAC facility as we had hoped. The only problem is that it's in Sycamore. You know, this is Chicago, could a closer facility not have been found or what!! Sycamore is about a 35-40 minute one-way trip for us. It's near Northern Illinois University in DeKalb. It's a lovely drive, out in the country and all; and especially now with Autumn upon us. This L-TAC was chosen because it is suppose to specialize in wound care. I was not able to see Larry until Friday. He seemed ok but I think he's very frustrated and growing more depressed. Can you blame him? I do worry about that. Because of the distance and my schedule I feel that I haven't got a handle on this hospital yet. Thankfully Chris has been the family representative this week. I do know for sure that Larry's meds need a good tweaking. I tell you if you don't keep on top of these places and be an advocate for the patient, things could take a very uncertain turn. I will be there tomorrow so hopefully I will get a better feel for Larry's care. By the way, the name of the hospital that Larry is in is Kindred in Sycamore, Illinois. I don't have the exact address or phone number but I'm sure it's on the internet. If anyone would like to contact Larry that's where he is. I can't guarantee his articulation or his cognisance (it's the meds) but I'm sure if you have patience he would be happy to hear from a friend. Until then...pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Ol' Lar does a 90- not a 180

2008-09-12T21:41:00.002-05:00

Boy, what a difference 24-48 hours make. Yesterday, when I visited Larry, his condition did not appear very good. He was somewhat incoherent and awaiting a procedure. It was difficult to understand him and his doctor had given me a call with a not so rosy outlook. I stayed with him until he was taken to surgery for a debridement of his pressure wound. I was not able to stay so the shift was taken over by the boys. The doctor informed the boys that Larry did well in surgery, however they did find some necrotic tissue and follow-up would consist of a wound vac and a possible flap. I did not speak with Larry until he called this morning; and much to my delight it was easier to understand him.

Chris and I went to see him this afternoon and were pleasantly surprised to see him alert, talkative and hungry. How this change came about, I'm not sure. I have a feeling that Larry has been living with this infection for some time now, and when the antibiotics began working and he was receiving oxygen his condition appears to be better. However, Larry has another long road ahead of him. Unfortunately his homecoming is still undetermined. While his procedure was successful,the infectious disease doctor said that the infection has traveled to his blood and that he needs a very heavy duty IV antibiotic. Hospice will not approve that therapy at home so a difficult decision had to be made. It was suggested that he may be a candidate for LTAC-long term acute therapy. He will be evaluated for that on Monday. As much as we would like him back home, we are not equipped to handle that condition. Larry is supposed to be on this antibiotic until mid-October. In fact, a pic line was inserted into him today. So our hope is that his evaluation is approved and the antibiotic therapy starts soon. Has this guy not been through enough ringers or what????? So, I'm asking you to send up some prayers for him this week-end. I also want to thank everyone who has responded with some wonderful feedback and offers of help. I will not let you all off the hook however, I will just postpone the offers. Untill next time---pass on the Larry love.

Gail

Correction

2008-09-09T22:18:00.000-05:00

Correction, Larry is at St Joseph's hospital in Elgin not Sherman.

Homecoming on Hold

2008-09-09T21:29:00.003-05:00

This is Gail's sister, Larry's Thursday homecoming is on hold for a little while. He had an appointment at the infectious disease doctor today and was subsequently hospitalised for an infection in his pressure wound. Right now he is in Sherman Hospital on IV antibiotics and is awaiting the results of the wound culture, we should know more in a day or two. He hasn't lost his sense of humor in all of this; while Gail was talking with me on the phone in Larry's room, he wanted to know if I could come over and have a party in his room! That's our Lar!

Getting Ready for Larry's Homecoming

2008-09-06T14:31:00.001-05:00

Well, I never thought that I would have a blog. My sister, convinced me that this would be the most efficient way to communicate with so many of you out there that have inquired about Larry and his health. Quite honestly, this is easier for me than to speak on the phone where I most often turn into a blubbering idiot. Often, I find it difficult to talk about Larry on the phone because it's difficult for me to control my emotions, and for someone who has admittedly been a "control Freak", my vulnerability shows through.

Larry will be coming home on Thursday, Sept. 11th. He hasn't been home since April 8th. which started with a much needed successful knee replacement and turned into a medical chamber of horrors. His medicare runs out in a week for rehab nursing assistance and we all decided it is most definitely time for "ole Lar to be back at his home. Imagine having the whole Spring and Summer months pass you by; missing his son's college graduation, watching Spring flowers bud and grow, not tasting a grilled hamburger, nor seeing a summer firework and most importantly missing the other July National Holiday-my birthday. Of course, Larry is a different man from the time he left his house in April to the present. He has changed physically-lost 50 lbs. , is extremely rigid and has little range of motion. He has also changed mentally, a result of the progression of the disease. Sometimes he's a little fuzzy-which I guess we can all admit to at times-only Lar's is a little more often; and then he has days where his acuity is pretty sharp. I strongly believe that a nursing home stay contributes to what I call "nursing home dementia."
If any of you have had the experience of having a loved one in that type of facility, you know what I'm talking about. I do not consider bingo much of a mental challenge.

As I said Larry has gone through a medical chamber of horrors. He has been in 4 different hospitals and 4 different rehab facilities since this all started. The knee replacement went well and the initial rehab started out ok to the point where Larry was actually walking with a walker as recently as early May. Then all hell broke loose. He contacted C-DIFF(a severe bacterial infection which affects control of all bodily functions-if you catch my drift-and leaves the patient extremely weak) followed by a yeast infection in his throat and the start of a pressure sore. This put him all behind the eight ball and rehab had to start all over in a different facility. Strides were attempted to get him up and moving , only to be sidelined by more C-DIFF and MRSA in his pressure wound site. This was also complicated by DVT (deep vein Thrombosis) in his leg. Another hospital visit, another rehab facility. So let's give it the old college try again. Larry is a fighter. Sure he complained about the food and getting out of whatever place he was or is in; but he continued to have the motivation and determination to proceed with all types of therapy in the hopes of being able to walk again and be able to go upstairs by himself. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen

I am in the process of turning my dining room into Larry's new bedroom. he needs to be on the main level. Unfortunately, there is no full bath on this level so the challenge has raised to design some sort of shower. I have some unconventional ideas that might actually fly.

We have decided to pursue the Hospice route of care for Larry. I met with them yesterday, and considering Larry's many needs, this seems the most reasonable solution that would best suit Larry and the rest of the family. For those of you that seem shocked by the "H" word, I have been assured that hospice is not necessarily an end of life option. Larry's progressive disease is just that-progressive. The Parkinsonism, referred to as MSA-multi system atrophy or Shy-Drager Syndrome has rapidly robbed Larry of muscle strength and tone, left him incontinent, the inability to swallow properly, and is showing signs of dementia; not to mention that he has a stage 4 pressure sore. He needs assistance with just about every activity of daily life. Now considering all that Larry has been through, I still consider him a remarkable man. He rarely complains about his care or his conditions. I , on the other hand have been like a pit bull particularly when it comes to nursing home care. The list of improprieties I have witnessed has been appalling. It has left me frustrated, exhausted , and above all angry. Remember those 50 lbs. Larry has lost, well they didn't just evaporate into thin air-noooooo, they have re-positioned themselves on this 50 something body. That, however is just going to have to be put on hold until later.

Now I have come to the part that is always difficult for people to address. HELP!!! I know many of you have offered to help Larry and the family in the past but quite frankly I really didn't know what he or us needed at that time. Now I do. As I have mentioned we are enlisting the help of hospice but I don't have the logistics worked out just yet. I am asking for your time. Larry cannot be left alone, and the boys and I need to continue to work. We need volunteers to basically sit with Lar from late morning until early evening. This would probably incur in 2 hour intervals depending on the volunteers. Not only would this be appreciated by us, but I know Larry would sincerely welcome the opportunity to visit with friends, family and neighbors-even if he does fall asleep. I have asked some friends to set up a volunteer spread sheet when the time comes and I have also requested the expertise of an RN friend to demonstrate and/or explain any conditions that may arise with Larry's care. If you all feel up to this challenge and it will be a challenge, you can respond in these posts or through my e-mail. I am also looking for help with the construction of a wheelchair ramp for our front entrance. If anyone knows "a guy" who does this, please pass the name onto me.

Well, it is late and I am tired. I hope I brought many of you up-to-date about Larry's status. My intention is not to bring on gloom and doom nor am I sugarcoating it. It is what it is and that's why everybody loves Larry.